International Talk Like Paul Lynde Day

Back in September, amongst the ‘arrrrghs’ and ‘avasts’ of International Talk Like a Pirate Day, writer Andy Ihnatko of the Chicago-Sun Times noted astutely that the day had seemed to run its course. What began as a geek joke had exploded, with even Facebook including a pirate language option. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love pirates. But Talk Like a Pirate Day had run ashore.

So Andy Inhatko proposed something similar sounding in name but quite different in practice: International Talk Like Paul Lynde Day. Those in the know remember Paul Lynde‘s signature voice as he played bit parts on shows like Bewitched and took residence in the center of Hollywood Squares. He played Ann-Margret’s father in Bye Bye Birdie, singing What’s the Matter With Kids Today. Younger audiences might know his voice as Templeton the rat from Charlotte’s Web. Still younger audiences might only recognize his voice as mimicked by the character Roger the Alien on Seth Macfarlane’s American Dad.

Paul Lynde’s iconic voice is the perfect subject for its own Talk Like day. I marked my calendar back and September and the day is finally here! So go out into the world and give it your best Paul Lynde.

13

06 2010

On Repackaging the Back Catalog – Anchor Bay Entertainment’s “Fright Packs”

I’m not much for collecting video games, political memorabilia, rare fungi, or stamps. While I’d like to be one of those people with absolutely no impulse toward collecting, I’ve definitely got my soft-spots. One of my “Achilles heels” is the hoarding of DVDs. Though dismissed by many in this age of omnipotent streaming, upscale Blu-Ray, and mobile everything, there remains something comforting about having a physical library for reference. Since my work involves visiting and revisiting films, with sometimes alarming regularity, it really helps to have things on hand, either for considered scrutiny or, in the lighter moments, pure enjoyment. I don’t own inordinate amounts of clothes, a diverse selection of cookie jars (see 30 Rock) or an alphabetized spice rack. But I do have metric boatloads of Digital Versatile Discs (and books–but that is a different matter for a different post).

When you really get to know a field, author, filmmaker, artist, or subject, you begin to notice patterns, begin to piece together details that at first may not make sense. Ten years of buying (and frequently reselling, sometimes at a considerable profit) DVDs made me notice trends in who was publishing and distributing which films. Sure, there are well-known holdings–most frequent TCM viewers can probably rattle off all of the pre-1950 studios for which the network owns broadcasting rights–but other arrangements escape ready understanding. Several years ago, I noticed that the company once resolutely known as “Anchor Bay Entertainment,” who had started out in the VHS era but had attained critical mass in the middle of the past decade, was regularly publishing idiosyncratic films from a variety filmmakers who often made their work under independent circumstances. They have since been swallowed up by Starz and tend to release mediocre fare that seems direct-to-video or otherwise poorly received. Genre director William Lustig, who was behind many of their best releases, jumped ship for Blue Underground, a “boutique” label who now own many of the best properties once tended by Anchor Bay. In its heyday, filmmakers like George A. Romero, Alex Cox, and Michael Nesmith had licensed their work to ABE. Though ABE had licensed some titles in the early part of the decade from major studios (namely MGM), they also handled titles by “mini-majors” who had disappeared at some point in the 1980s or 1990s, such as Vestron Pictures and New World Pictures (one of Corman’s companies, before New Concorde). They had released many, many 1980s horror films, plenty of art pictures (most importantly, Werner Herzog’s celebrated films of the 1970s), and tons of (s)exploitation (anybody wondered who owned the DVD rights to H.O.T.S. [1979]?) In short, nearly everything that they’d released was at the very least interesting. Most of it had flown under the radar, and just about all of it appealed to my “obscure treasure-hunter” impulse. The chase was on.

Once DVD came to maturity as a format–without looking at any statistics, I’d guess that its ascendant years were 2004/2005, before the new formats had widely debuted and before the economy totally tanked–it became clear that publishers would have to find interesting ways to market, or just plain unload, their back catalogs. While the most common tactic today seems to be to dump product to wholesalers (for example, MGM has needed cash for years, and has been hemorrhaging DVDs to companies like Big Lots, who turn around and sell them for $3 a pop), some companies have done well with repackaging. To this end, I think that Anchor Bay Entertainment was really on to something with their “Fright Packs.”

In Fall 2005, they released “Fright Packs,” which their promotional materials describe as: “Unique, Eye-Catching 6-Pack Foil Packaging & Convenient Carry Case Makes Fright Packs a GREAT IMPULSE BUY!” I can vividly remember ordering the “Walking Dead” set (pictured above with City of the Living Dead [1983], Nightmare City [1983], and The House by the Cemetery [1981] facing out) at launch, intrigued by the value, strangeness of the films, and hilarious packaging. As someone who counts beer and horror films among their top passions, this was it–this was how it was supposed to be done. The discs themselves were individually sealed and had been originally minted a few years prior. It became clear to me that the company was trying to find something to do with what seemed to be a warehouse’s worth of obscure and semi-obscure horror films. I was happy to help them out.

Cut to a few weeks ago. With the end of school either in sight, I was taking a break from the writing of papers with a quick trip to a second-hand book/DVD store. Behind the check-out counter, next to some of their bigger-ticket items (oversize Taschen books which cost nearly $200, CD boxed-sets, etc.) was a strange little cooler with the Anchor Bay logo on top. I asked to look into it, and it turned out that it housed the only “Fright Pack” I didn’t previously own, “Campy Classics,” probably the least thematically specific of the sets and the only one that is still easy to find in-print. The set was nice to have, but what really blew my mind was the cooler. This, it turned out, was a promotional set given out to retailers with information about the product line.

The set itself was still sealed. Beneath it was a little packet of Beer Nuts (I’m sure they’ve putrefied, but I’ll leave them sealed) and a promotional flier discussing the products. It explains “pre-book” information and contains bar-codes. As a former video store employee, I can recall some “cool” promotional items (the video game industry always seemed to do it better), but this pretty much tops the charts for the DVD format.

25

05 2010

DEWtermination: Mountain Dew’s New Flavors

Two summers ago Mountain Dew launched a campaign for what they called DEWmocracy. Three fan-created flavors had been chosen and put into convenience marts, groceries, and other stores across the country. Mountain Dew opened up a website in which drinkers could vote on their favorite, and when all was said and done Voltage (raspberry-citrus) triumphed over Revolution (berry) and my personal favorite Supernova (strawberry-melon).

I am by no means a heavy Mountain Dew drinker, but I do appreciate it in much the way I appreciate a craft beer. It’s the one soda that’s constantly trying new things. My all-time favorite is the first-release of Pitch Black, the grape “expression” (to steal a term from Scotch whisky distillers), which they mucked up on second release by making replacing the smoothness with a sour kick. As I peruse the list of Dews on Wikipedia, I realize that I’ve tried every soda (excluding Slurpees and energy drinks) since 2001.

So, of course I ran out to try the new flavors in the 2010 Dewmocracy competition. And what do I think? Well, it depends on the criteria. If American Idol is a competition not for finding the best singer, but for producing the best pop star, then Dewmocracy is about choosing the soda that should end up on the shelves. Thus, I render my DEWtermination.

Mtn Dew Typhoon

Mountain Dew Typhoon. Typhoon reminds me of Code Red mixed with Pineapple soda. Sound gross? It’s not. Pineapple soda is underappreciated and underserved. Want to know the popular opinion of pineapple soda? Check out this definition from Urban Dictionary: “Urine, Piss. Basically telling someone to drink piss.” Now now, that’s not fair. Perhaps tempering pineapple soda with Code Red is exactly what the world needs.

It’s a tasty soda. It’s like a special kind of fruit punch—the kind you only can get in gallon jugs as a store brand. The kind of punch that mom’s bring to their kid’s school, or frat guys find to make jungle juice for a party. Don’t let that scare you off. Remember, you have generally fond memories of your elementary school and no memories of that frat party.

Does it deserve to win? Nah. It’s good, not great. Too sweet for the everyday. It’s a nice change of pace, but not the best. B+


Mtn Dew DistortionThose who know me well know that I love lime. It may very well be my favorite flavor of anything. I’ve even jettisoned my self-respect into space, choosing Bud Light Lime as my go-to drink of summer afternoons (I just pretend it’s not beer and that makes it all okay). Want a little Virtual Fools archive in your life? Check out my top ten sodas and notice that 20% of them are lime flavored.

As a fan of lime, Mtn Dew Distortion is awesome. However, I can recognize that it’s probably the weakest of the three offerings. The issue is the lime is too subtle. Distortion is regular Mountain Dew playing up the lime, as opposed to some new distinct flavor. First you taste the Dew, then the subtleties of the lime come out. And I do mean subtleties. I chugged my first bottle of Distortion, excited at the prospects, but on second tasting I came to the realization that Distortion doesn’t realize its full potential. C+


Mtn Dew White OutAlright, country. You’re right. White Out leads the Dewmocracy polls online and for good reason. This is the Dew that belongs on shelves. Not because it’s the most innovative, but because—and I hate to say this—it has drinkability. I could see myself getting a fridge pack of White Out to have on hand. I could drink it with a meal. I could have it as a special treat. It’s got flexibility.

White Out describes itself as “smooth citrus” and at first taste seems like it might be just a weak version of regular ol’ Dew. But after a few pulls on the bottle, the grapefruit flavor comes forth. It’s like drinking a Squirt with that signature Mountain Dew kick. There’s something else tropical in the bottle, too, that I can’t quite put my finger on but that fits in with the tropical limes and pineapples of the other offerings. Perhaps it’s like Baja Blast with grapefruit instead of lime. The soda doesn’t take a lot of risks, but it excels at being an everyday Dew. A-

The verdict has been rendered: White Out is the flavor that should stick around. Of course, if I had my way Mountain Dew would make all their flavors available year round. Or, how about they just scrap everything and make Pitch Black their only offering. That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?

18

05 2010