Virtual Fools

So I was informed that I’d be getting a ticket to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, to be viewed at 12:01 AM at the newly opened (and apted titled) New Town Cinemas in Williamsburg. Our ringleader/event planner Adam Stackhouse sent out an email…and…the rest is bizarre as shit. Read on to figure out our plans…

[Real names in brackets]

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Muggles, wizards, and the like:

Please meet in the parking area behind Tucker Hall this evening at 11pm for transport and ticket to the new Harry Potter adventure. Joshua Malfoy wanted to arrive at the theater at 10:30, myself an hour later, so we compromised and said meet and depart at 11pm – sharp. In keeping with this pact, not being on time may mean you have to meet us at the theater, which is not cool if you do not have a broomstick, floo powder or vehicle. If you do miss the Hogwarts Express, my number is 540-718-$$$$ – I can wait for you outside the theater with your ticket.

If this does not work for you, or you wanted to leave earlier, or it works perfectly, feel free to reply all to the cause – we may need to have two different trips at different times… Speaking of which, I can take five people in my car. Can anyone else take themselves and four others?

Unless we are related by blood, dating, or you bought me a ticket to Jarhead, I got the tickets for $6.50 each – and I probably will not have change on me… also, my credit card machine is down. Zack, your running debt for the semester now stands at $76.50.

Is anyone dressing up (like a character, or fancy, either way)?

Adam Weasley [Stackhouse]

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I can drive some mugwumps…I mean, muggles…if they are a) willing to meet at 11 at said appointed place and b) are willing to bear with me as I 1)take some movies back to Movie Scene and 2) buy some snacks at Food Lion because its prices are cheaper than Diagon Alley (or whatever its called).

Also, what time is our screening of the film? I want to have some sort of sense.

Kevin [Flanagan]

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Movie’s at 12:01. Would Wawa cover your food needs? We could always meet there instead…

[Adam Stackhouse]
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This is why you twits are in Gryfindor! Obviously the cramped confines of that hovel you live in Weasley have caused your brain to shrink. Let’s think this through toadspawn…If the plan was to meet at 10:55 and leave no later than 11, meeting at WAWA is a recipe for disaster. Almost as bad as letting Zackary Longbottom [Zack Pennington] ever even hold a wand. 11 is the bewitching hour at WAWA in which if we met there at 11, gurantee we would not depart before 11:15. I know you muggle-lovers think we can get to the theatre at 12 and still all sit together, but use some divination skills and realize the facts…the theatres are going to be packed and packed long before 12. There is my pure-blood wizard opinion. The only opinion that matters.

Malfoy [Josh Lovell]

P.s. – Also, I can drive. If the Fox [Josh's car] brakes, I’ll use magic to fix it.

—

I will meet you all at 9 and three quarters at eleven and I hope to have a
ticket on the Express (meaning I will not have Ron’s car or any other for
that matter). Also, I will be wearing my standard garb: glasses, scarf, one
of the Weasley’s sweater, and my scar…which has been hurting of late…I
should write Sirius about it. Unfortunately, due to Rita Skeeter’s article
about my “crush” on Hermione, Hermione put a color hex on me and I am now
colorblind. She’s a tricky Muggle-F**cker.

- Brian Potter [Brian Sallade]

P.S. – Is anyone inviting Cedric Diggory? If not, I might ask Cho [Meagan Lewis} to come
with me. Diggory has been getting rather close to her and I don't know what
to do...I kinda hope he dies.

---

That car-fixin' magic clearly doesn't come with a spell-check, eh Malfoy? At least us Weasleys know how to write a coherent letter.

And who the hell is Zackary Longbottom [Pennington]?

Adam Weasley [Stackhouse]

—
no need for a spell-check Weasley. Possibly I was being punny. Ever think of that muggle-lover! And as for Zachary Longbottom [Pennington]…i was continuing your dirge into handing out nicknames. Obviously Brian has ascribed himself Potter. We can all see why you’d be Weasley and I have unjustly been deemed Malfoy. For no other reason than his name was the first into my head, Zack has become Longbottom. But to the question at hand, as wise as I believe Kevin Krum [Flanagan] to be, i still think it unwise to meet at WAWA. But no decision seems to have been made about that one. Are we meeting at Tucker or WAWA? Make the right decision twits!

Malfoy,

-No hard feelings. Lovell would never say any of this. But Malfoy is an ass.

—

10 points from Slytherin for misspelling! “Spelling” correctly is very
important in the wizard world.

I oddly enough agree with Malfoy (although I think he looks a lot more like
Snape). Let’s still meet prior to 11 at the platform magically hidden
behind Tucker. Also, can I pay in Galleons?

Potter [Brian Sallade]

—

10 points from all houses but Hufflepuff!

Regardless of where we meet initially, I still MUST take my videos back on the way there, lest the mugglefuckers at Movie Scene make me pay more unjust late fees which for some reason evade payment in Everyflavor Beans.

Expecto-toseeyoualllater

Kevin Krum [Flanagan]

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Yes, Potter, you may pay in Galleons. Your total instead comes to 1 galleon, 6 sickles and 27 knuts.

Really.
http://cgi.money.cnn.com/apps/hpcurrconv

Krum, looks like you were out-Wawa’ed. Tucker platform it is.

Malfoy, I understand the miscommunication regarding Longbottom. Your “k” threw me off. I’d say sorry for the mess, but you’re a bastard to the wizarding community, especially with that shit you pulled at the end of book six.

Adam Weasley (and I’m going for Charlie, not Ron – cause he plays with DRAGONS) [Stackhouse]