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Game Review: Urban Champion
By Kevin - 03.27.01
You bastards. Video Gamers today are so spoiled. Want fighting games? You have too many to choose from: Mortal Kombat 4, Marvel vs. Capcom, Virtua Fighter, Tekken, Soul Edge, the list goes on…Back in the day, yeah I mean THE day, there was one non-arcade fighting game to choose from. That game, ladies and gents, was URBAN CHAMPIONS! This gem is one of the original series NES games, and made it’s debut as part of the Action Series. Want complexities? This game has none. Want realism? None either. Want cool moves, fatalities and hidden characters? Yeah right!
This is a fighting game, plain and simple. The story goes like this: there is blue sleeve guy, and he hates green sleeve guy. He hates him A LOT. For the sake of simplicity, lets call our green sleeve friend “Derek” and our blue sleeved friend “Bokista”. Anyway, things are going good until the two meet up at the DISCOUNT SHOP. Apparently, Derek accused Bokista of having blonde pubes. What can Bokista do to defend his honor? Nothing less than fight Derek! The two quickly decide on terms: first to get knocked into the sewer wins. Game on!
Discount Shop, the Reston Town Center of 1986
That is about all there is too this game. To quote the Urban Champions Instruction Manual, “Throw punches, and try to force your opponent back to the very edge of the screen. If you are knocked into the manhole, the game is over and the winner is showered with confetti.”
That’s it. Imagine the year is 1987 and you have just purchased your first NES system: you know that it comes with Super Mario Bros, Duck Hunt and that dumb R.O.B doll, but YOU want another game. Looking behind the counter, you survey your choices: Baseball, 10 Yard Fight, Kung Fu…all of these games sound boring! You want a game that SOUNDS like fun. WAIT! Here it is... Urban Champions! It has a cool name, so you shell out another $60 bucks for it and gleefully run home.
Snack Bars just aint what they used to be
The next morning your parents find you hanging limply from your shower head. You see, after you played Urban Champions for 10 min you realized that it was stupid and repetitive. You immediately hung yourself. Apparently you are not the winner: don’t expect to be showered with confetti.
Death from above!
Graphics: 2/5---I can’t believe that a cartridge this big holds a game this little. More store variety would be nice to say the least.
Sound: 1/5---Blep, bip, crap…the last of those sounds is manmade upon realizing that you have to listen to headphones while playing.
Control: 2/5---SLLLLOOOOOWWWW response time, not much to do.
Fun factor: 3/5---Old Skool but also really bad when compared with gems such as Double Dragon and Renegade.
Oopps, I actually spent more than $2 on this game!
BOTTOM LINE: Spend $2 on it like I did, not a penny more, or spend nothing and download the rom yourself. You be the judge.
ROM: NES emulator needed: DOWNLOAD THE ROM
Manual: DOWNLOAD THE MANUEL
~Kevin 
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