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NEStravaganza!!
By Kevin - 01.04.02
NEStravaganza!!!
Due to a recent kick to the head so to speak, I have once again realized that my life, sad as it may sound, means nothing without the NES. I hadnt played in about a month, but, after acquiring several games that I had been looking for for a looonnggg time (Pool of Radiance especially, which took me approximately 5 years to locate), I am now dedicated at least an hour a day playing “the” system. Here a few quick reviews for games that I have either played on emulator or for the system, games that are unique, and, as I will prove, would NEVER be made in this day and age.
The Blues Brothers
  
Interesting that this game should be made at what seems to be the rock bottom period of the Blue’s Brothers popularity. Over 10 years after the movie came out, and about 8 years before the lousy 2000 remake. It is a very bland game- side scrolling, no apparent purpose, made music, no real items. Just not something that I could ever imagine anybody justifying $50 on at the time of its release. For some reason, 90% of licensed franchise games suck- law of nature I guess. Too shitty and boring to be made today
Overall- 1/5
Castlevania
Boki just picked this one up for the steep price of around $10. What is there to be said about this game? It started one of the most successful series’ in video game history, fueled millions into both the American and Japanease economies, and was a great game to boot. Excellent Gothic graphics, insanely un-NES music, and just the right amount of challenge make this game a mainstay. Too bad there is no save/password feature, as it is nearly impossible to make it all the way through the game in one sitting. A very different game from the bland/irreverent side-scroller detailed above. Would not be made today because gamers do not deserve such good games.
Overall- 5/5
Dynowarz
  
OK, OK, this is just absurd. Robotic dinosaurs that fight with things that fall out of outer space. And this was released? Decent graphics, decent action, horrible in every other way. Why even spend more words on it?
Overall- 2/5
Friday the 13th
  
This is a decent game based on a decent movie. It strays away from most movie based games and is like a quest, with many elements interspersed. Your goal is to round up kids (for some reason, Camp Crystal Lake actually opened) while avoiding Jason and other enemies that have nothing to do with the film. Games are no longer fashioned after horror films, nor are they original in the least, so this would not see the light of day today.
Overall- 3/5
Dragon Warrior III
  
An RPG for the NES! These were few and far between, and, with the exception of stinkers like Hydlide, were damn good games. Dragon Warrior games were generally bigger and better than the rest, and DW III is the epitome of their glory. It has a flexible party generation system, depth, complexities, meaningful quests, and difficult enemies. Save its passible, sometimes laughable graphics, it is a great game all around. While many rpgs are made today, they tend to concern themselves TOO much with story and less with playing (which is what its all about.) Great one to own if you can afford it.
Overall- 4/5
Trog
  
This is a Joe & Mac rip-off. No, wait, its an Adventure Island rip-off. No, it’s a Caveman Games rip-off. Whatever it is, its bad, and, aside from a few cool moments of funny animation, worthless. So much tripe and trope like so many other games for so many other systems. Nintendo Seal of Quality indeed. I’d like to think it otherwise, but strongly derivative games are released by the boatload now, so it would have a chance with spruced up gameplay.
Overall-2/5
NARC! NARC! NARC! NARC! NARC!
  
WOW, I LOVE THIS GAME. I will probably someday write a college level thesis about it. What do most games lack? Authenticity. This game has plenty. What’s it about? Fighting the war on drugs- literally. You are the heavily armed, not-to-be-fucked-with armored dude, and you face off with thousands of drug addicts. The run at you, their naked bodies almost visible from under their trench coats, needle in hand, wanting to make you and addict too. What do you do? SHOOT THEM! Machine guns, even rockets are used to stop these sons of bitches dead in their tracks. Or, you can capture them by running up to them, but you run the risk of being damaged. This game is simply the best. It is wonderfully insane, and has never been equaled in terms of originally of zealotry. Never would a game such as this be allowed onto the marketplace today. It is clearly the product of the 1980’s, reactionary-backed War on Drugs campaign, and would only frighten the general public now. Thank you Bush!
Overall- 10/5
There you have it, a nice sampling of NES games to consider. Keep that red light on!
~Kevin 
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