Virtual Fools

I don’t listen to much popular radio. In fact, I pretty much listen to no popular radio. I love entertainment talk, but I don’t listen to music on the FM unless there are no other options. At about 9:30PM I hit one of those “no other options” moment and flipped through the FM stations. I came upon the big pop station and heard Warren Zevon’s Werewolves of London. Or so I thought.

What I was actually listening to is the third single off of Kid Rock’s most recent album “Rock n Roll Jesus.”  And by most recent I mean from last October. Three singles in 9 months? Pretty good, Kid Rock.

So basically this piece of garbage is Kid Rock singing inane lyrics over top of Werewolves of London with a little Sweet Home Alabama mixed in. What you get in return is a song that offends the sensibilities. I don’t even like Werewolves of London nor do I really even like Sweet Home Alabama before. But let’s examine a snippit of Kid Rock’s brilliant songwriting:

We didn’t have no internet
But man I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair

Whenever I think of the Internet, I think about the moonlight in a woman’s hair.

And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song

Pretty talented to rhyme “things” with “things”!

Now, Kid Rock says that all these events took place in 1989. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that 1989 was a really popular year for the 1974 release of Sweet Home Alabama. Correct me. PLEASE, CORRECT ME.

I’m glad you found a softspot in your heart for that song, Kid Rock. But it sounds to me like you REALLY prefered Werewolves of London, as that is what you so heavily sampled. Or did you basically just want to gank a catchy guitar rift and piano medley so that you had all that time to write those really GREAT lyrics?

I just can’t believe people listen to this drivel.